Hating Hollywood.

I live in Los Angeles, which means that there is an 80% chance that I am employed in the entertainment industry, which I am. I hate being part of a majority.

There are literally hundreds of aspects of The Industry that I have grown to despise in the past years, all of which I will strive valiantly to list on this blog. However, it is important to spread these things out, so let’s tackle one of the big ones: Kirsten Dunst’s teeth.

Allow me for a moment to sully your screen with this image:

The horror!

Unlike most moviegoers, I don’t mind her acting, and she’s generally cute. But the teeth are enough reason to hate. I’ve hated for lesser slights. I think that the only moments in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (my favorite movie) that I even remotely disliked had to do with the fact that Kirsten Dunst was smiling in the scene.

I have a theory that Michel Gondry only included the skimpy-clothed dancing scene to make up for her canines, but I think that my theory is refuted by the mere fact that we also had to see Mark Ruffalo dancing in his underwear. It balances out the hotness, and then we’re left with the teeth.

Can anything be done? Can she be held down and have braces forcibly attached? Could someone bribe Invisalign to hire mercenaries to right this grievous wrong?