The sweet smell of irony.

Okay, I realize that last year I wrote a blog post called Self-medicating criticizing the medical marijuana movement, particularly those poor saps that come up with bullshit reasons to get scrips for medical marijuana.

I became one of those saps last September.

Well, here’s the thing. I really like smoking weed. A lot. And certain circumstances arose that seemed to make applying for a prescription look like a good option. I think I was mostly bothered that I was getting my weed illegally (like almost all of America gets theirs) and thought that if I could get a prescription, then hey, good for me. So I prepped for the appointment. Don’t mention smoking it, doctors don’t take you seriously if you say you want to unhealthily smoke a substance. Ask questions. Look concerned. Come up with a good fucking reason. I did all of these things. And I got into that office, and hey, I suddenly needed this scrip because I was stressed out at work.

In fact, I was stressed out. My job was killing me. Of course, I could have just gotten out of the industry I work in and found another, less-stressful job. I could have spoken with my actual doctor about the whole thing. I could have even heeded my boss’ always-right suggestions to do yoga and get more exercise (ha!). But you know, that doctor sat there and talked to me for 30 minutes about my job and my past history and his past history and why pot worked for him. I was so enthused that he was so enthused about my drug use that I actually walked out of the office with my completed paperwork, up to my car on Westwood Boulevard that was in the process of getting a parking ticket, and was so nice and understanding to the parking cop that he shook my hand and told me to not worry about the ticket. My appreciation for African-Americans increased 20% that day (it fluctuates).

Well, that day was a good day. And most days after were great days, because I got hella stoned every fucking day. And boy, did I spend my money. I think I made more bad financial decisions just because I wanted to buy Diablo or True OG instead of the cheaper stuff, and ran up quite the debt to my petty cash float because I never had cash on me. Beautiful days, all of them. And then I got a cough.

Well, the cough sucked. And it was incredibly persistent. It had been bad enough before I got the prescription, but with the much more frequent smoking, it got a lot worse. I started to cough up resin, which was at once a sobering and very fascinating development. But I didn’t want to go a day without it.

My boyfriend started to get heart palpitations when we smoked, and to be honest I’m not sure if it was the weed that caused it, but it was enough to scare him. A few weeks ago, he swore off the stuff. And as the girlfriend, I complied. I guess it was good that it was sudden, because I didn’t really want to know which bowl was my last bowl. And you know what? It’s probably the best possible thing that could have happened. The show I was working on finished up right about then, and I didn’t have another job coming up for several weeks, so from a financial standpoint, the timing couldn’t be better. We went from completely anti-social to going out and having a good time. I’m finding ways to fill the time. And hey, I can actually breathe again. The cough that I’d harbored for eighteen months is almost completely gone.

Pot-free for thirteen days and counting. I aim to keep it clean until I get another steady job, and I’m resolved to never get back to the unhealthy point again. I’m looking forward to being a casual pot smoker again, and I don’t intend to get my prescription renewed this September. I’m hoping limiting my access to easy pot will make it more difficult for me to spend my hard-earned cash. So I guess I’ve gone full-circle. I still think most people getting these prescriptions are, like me, completely fooling themselves, either knowingly or unknowingly. But it’s nice to be truthful with myself. I know that when I smoke now, I’m doing it just to smoke, and I can enjoy myself. And for the stress, well… I have two unlimited weeks of yoga to try out.